Marriage is a very important social institution. Every individuals wants to have Perfect Match, but the criteria for choosing the partner is different. In Love Marriage, individuals prefer to choose their partners on their own, while in case of Arrange Marriages individuals prefer partners chosen by their family or parents. Let’ analyze which one of the two is better.
Love marriage -: Both individuals know each other already an mutually decide to spend the whole life with each other. Couple is aware of each other’s likes and dislikes. Therefore, they will get along well. Couple is responsible for its choice and onus of the blame in future lies on the couple only and nobody else. The culture of the extravagant spending too can be curbed by the understanding between the couple.
Arrange Marriage -: Arrange Marriage is not a contract between two individuals along but confluence of two families. Two families involved in arrange marriage known each other couple is guided by parents experience where as in Love Marriage couple is unknown about the future complexities in life and lacks this experience.
Arrange marriage advantages and disadvantages :-
Arrange marriage have been around for thousands of years, and were practiced all around the world at some point. They are when parents predetermined who their child will marry. These two people often have comparable backgrounds both socially and culturally. This tradition is still commonly practiced in India, South Asia, and other parts of the world. Recently it has begun to raise controversy.
Pros of Arranged Marriages :-
1) The “one” – People who are placed in an arranged marriage do not have to worry about the dating world, or waiting for the “one”. This takes a lot of stress and anxiety out of life.
2) Parental discretion – Your parents are the ones who choose who you are to marry, so you do not have to worry, so you do not have to worry about them liking your spouse. The same goes for having to worry about your in – laws approving of you.
3) Close to your Roots – Participating in an arranged marriage can make you feel much closer to your family, and your culture. Arranged marriages are highly traditional and renowned.
4) Children – With two parents of the exact same background, religion, and culture your children will grow up immersed in theirs, you do not have to worry about conflicting views on things like that because they where discussed ahead of time.
5) Same valves – Your parents will choose your spouse extremely carefully. They will make sure it is someone who matches your matches your own beliefs and valves to ensure compatibility.
6) Love Grows – While you may not say your I Do’s completely love struck, that doesn’t mean the you are doomed to a loveless marriage. Love takes time, but will ( hopefully) bloom.
Cons of Arranged Marriages :-
1) Dating deprived – Dating is taken out of the equation when you have an arranged marriage. you do not get the opportunity to figure out what you do and do not like in a partner.
2) Weeding Blues – You may feel your wedding is not your own. You do not know the person you are marrying nor their family. It is completely done by the families, the bride and groom have very little say in their wedding ceremony.
3) Family Ties – It is inevitable that you family will be very highly involved in your life. This includes your married life. This can cause problems between the married couple.
4) Placing Blame – I f any marital problems arise between the couple then the parents are often the first the be blamed. Especially if the marriage results in a divorce, the family is humiliated because it is perceived as their fault.
5) No Diversity – Arranged marriages focus on keeping tradition and culture alive. This sadly means that they do not stray from their cultural background.
6) Waiting For Love – Love takes a long time to develop. When two people are thrown into a marriage that isn’t based on the foundation of love, it may take quite some time for these feelings to develop. This can lead to depression, misery, and divorce.
7) Identity Loss – people may find themselves changing what they like or who they are in order to fit into their spouses or family’s ideals. This can be very damaging.
Important facts about Arranged Marriages :-
– Arranged marriages are considered a social and economic necessity. They are done to join families power and wealth.
– They are also called Pragmatic marriage.
– The global rate of divorce among arranged marriages is only 4 percent.
– They are currently accepted practices in Iraq, India, Bangladesh, Iran, Afghanistan, and some other Islam countries.
– 48 percent of girls in South Asia were forced to marry before the age of 18.
– 90 percent of all marriages in India are arranged.
– 60 percent of all the marriages in the world are arranged.
– Entire families are involved in choosing a mate for the bride/groom. Including aunts, uncles, 1st, 2nd, and even 3rd cousins.
Love Marriage Advantages and Disadvantages :-
A love marriage is a union of two parties based upon affection and mutual attraction between the individuals and it binds bride and groom into a strong relationship with well defined rights and obligations. Now a days, the young generation is more inclined towards love marriage rather than arranged marriage.
Love marriage is a legal right for two individuals and nobody can claim the right to get involved, no matter love marriages turns out to be successful or not. Love marriages turns out to be successful or not. Love marriages usually occur between school friends, college friends, office colleagues, cousins, neighbors, and acquaintances. Now a days, it is one of the most exciting and interesting topic to discuss which arrange marriage. But nobody can say that love marriage is superior to arrange marriage or arrange marriage is superior to love marriage. Both have their own advantages and disadvantages.
Advantages of Love marriage
one of the most important advantage of Love Marriage is that it gives you the freedom to choose your own life partner and love marriage offers more independence and freedom to live your life.
In love marriage both individuals feel more secured and comfortable as they know each other well and are also aware of strengths and weakness of each other well and are also aware of strengths and weakness of each other. And they do not find any difficulty or any thing new in their life after their marriage.
Love marriage gives your life excitement and peace of mind. You have a life partner of your choice with whom you can go to different places, enjoy your vacations , watch sports events your vacations, watch sports, events and you’ll see all these things will look more lovely when you have love with you.
Disadvantages of Love Marriage :-
In spite of advantages there are certain disadvantages of love marriage is an early break up, as both individuals who were in love with each other before the marriage feel lack of freedom from their families. Love marriages are successful only if a person is chosen wisely but many.
Such marriages are not a result of any careful deliberation or insight but raging hormones. So, as a result there is mismatch between life’s goals and aspirations of the two individuals, which after sometimes becomes a cause of friction and eventually leads to divorce. Thus it is most important to decide to get married to a person who loves you more than you love that person. It is therefore, difficult to predict the ideal sort of marriage. So ultimately it is up to the individuals to decide whether he/she wants to have a love or an arranged marriage. The sole remedy to make it last for longer is trust and commitment.
Not only in love marriage but also in arranged marriage one can know the person well before deciding to get married. Bride or Groom should make sure that his/her proposed partner likes him/her as well and is not going to marry because of the pressure from parents or family. Love marriage and Arranged marriage it must depends upon the will of both life partners.
Conclusion -: Both ways have been this merits as well as demerits and marriage a decision of lifetime. Though families are involved in most of the Marriages, it’s the couple which has to live together for lifetime. So, the decision to choose life partner should be left to the individuals. Ultimately No one can certify the best way for a perfect Marriage Life because like Life Marriages too are full of uncertainties.
My view :- Marriage is unique bond between two people that in turn unless two different families. Marriages has a different definition for everyone. But this bond strengthened by trust, belief, understanding, feeling of oneness, own-ness along with the usual potion of love, Romance, and affection.
Love and Arranged Marriage both differs from the root.
Neha Khatri (Advocate)
(DELHI HIGH COURT)
Master of Law (LL.M.)
UNIVERSITY OF PETROLEUM AND ENERGY